Just Hold Me
by Holz090
Summary: "He could only hold her, and hope that his presence could bring her some small comfort". Oneshot set after the trial, partly based on spoilers.


**This is based on a combination of spoilers and my own ideas of how things may pan out. It all started off life on the back of a till receipt at work, and I tried not to edit it too much, so this isn't my best work. Like a lot of the stuff I seem to write lately, I just felt I had to write it. **

All he could do was to hold her and hope that his presence would bring her some small comfort.

As he watched her chest slowly rise and fall, finding himself relieved that each breath preceded the next, he wanted nothing more than to be able to rid her of her demons, to take her away from all the pain and make her feel safe. But as he sat on the corner of the sofa, her near-skeletal body curled into his like a newborn into its mother, he knew that was impossible. For as much as the monsters that lurked outside of these four walls terrified her, it was those in her mind, those haunting spirits that refused to be exorcised, that held her in this living nightmare.

Adjusting his position slightly to avoid his leg going numb, Peter felt a lump form in his throat at how her body, seemingly weightless, flopped with him like a ragdoll, putting up no resistance. Her once smooth, tanned skin was now dry and pale, her eyes red from crying and lack of sleep. He couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to eat without feeling sick, and her physical emptiness echoed the hollowness he knew she felt inside. He'd watched in agony for months at how her every waking moment had become filled with fear and anxiety, at how she could focus on nothing for more than the most fleeting lengths of time; her mind constantly pre-occupied with the same harrowing scene played on repeat. She lived each day in the same listless, hopeless way, going through the motions but never really feeling it. She was like a ghost, a mere shadow of her former self. He'd come to know how crucial the confident mask she wore in public was to her, but now he feared it was all that was preventing her from crumbling completely. Beneath this paper-thin charade, what was left?

And that was before they'd let that monster walk free.

But for now, finally, she had found some degree of peace as she slept and, though he knew how fleeting any genuine rest would be, he was grateful of that.

The sound of keys turning in the door startled him, and he found himself angry at this intruder, afraid they would wake the woman he loved.

Michelle, seeing Carla asleep in Peter's arms, closed the door quietly behind her and gave Peter a brief flash of a smile. Whilst it was clear that she valued the tentative comfort that he brought to her former sister-in-law, Peter also knew that she could never condone the way it had come about, or the path of pain and destruction he'd left in his wake. The atmosphere was suddenly awkward as for a moment neither knew what to say.

"I just came to get the last of my stuff". Michelle spoke almost in a whisper, gesturing to the woman rested against him. "How is she?"

Peter smiled slightly as he again watched her chest rise and fall, before looking back up to Michelle. "Peaceful, for now". He answered, stroking Carla's hair so gently she may as well have been made of glass.

"Poor thing" Michelle sighed as she picked up a pile of books from the kitchen counter, taking care to make as little noise as possible. "I just don't know what to say to her, I mean…." Her voice trailed off as words failed her. "What the hell can you say?"

Peter shook his head, letting out a hopeless sigh. "It's all such a mess".

Silence fell again as the subject of Leanne loomed heavily, yet unspoken, in the air. He knew she believed this was at least half his fault, and that it was purely for Carla's sake that she hadn't told him as much. He wanted so desperately to tell her he already knew; that he hated himself for it and to beg for forgiveness. But such a conversation, especially now, was pointless.

"Right, well I think that's everything" Michelle finally broke the silence as she picked up her bags. "I feel awful leaving her like this…"

"It's fine, we all understand" he assured her.

"Yeah, well, at least she's not on her own". Michelle smiled, a genuine feeling of warmth coming from her for the first time since the trial. "Are you ok here?"

"Yeah", he smiled back, tightening his grip on Carla slightly in a protective manner. "Yeah, we'll be fine".

"I'll get out your way, then". Swinging her handbag over her shoulder, Michelle took a final look at her sleeping friend before placing her keys on the counter and slipping softly out the door.

Carla stirred slightly as the door clicked shut, letting out a faint murmur before hugging Peter closer to her as she drifted back into a deeper sleep.


End file.
